found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
