About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
