...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
