You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
