Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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