Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize