Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
