I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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