god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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