I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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