Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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