The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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