If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
