just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize