Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
