"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
