some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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