it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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