Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
