do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize