I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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