walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
