I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
