you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
