Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
