Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
