hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
my liver is dry heaving
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
