she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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