Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
