OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
