Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
