best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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