At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
