What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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