Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
