Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
