The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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