just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
