I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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