well you can't waste a boner
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
