I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
