How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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