Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
