I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
