The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
