Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
