My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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