I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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