i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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