I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
