I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize