I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
