just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I need to stop coming to work sober
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
