yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
