There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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