I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
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