she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My life is pants optional.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
