Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
