i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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