friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
