Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
