TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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